I've been coaching a lot of teams and individuals the last few years, and I consistently come back to communication essentials. Whether unintentionally skewing toward command-and-control, lacking empathy, or simply ignorant to how their communication effects others, many aspiring leaders I speak to or hear about struggle to get the outcomes they desire from their teams simply because they aren't speaking the same language.
An effective leader knows that comminication is not a one-way process or static skill. They must learn to flex and adapt based on their audience, the context, and goals.
Here’s some quick tips to summarize how I coach aspiring leaders to adjust their approach so they can have a bigger impact and improve their connection with their people.
1. Read and Understand the Room
- Great leaders closely observe their people's reactions, both verbal and nonverbal. You need to gauge whether your message is landing. In-person, this might mean noticing body language, while in virtual settings, it could involve checking facial cues or directly soliciting feedback.
- Pause frequently to check for understanding, invite questions, or clarify points, ensuring constant alignment.
- The best thing to do is to ask people directly for feedback, with specific questions.
2. Recognize and Adapt to Preferences and Differences
- Some people prefer broad vision and high-level summaries, while others need detailed, step-by-step instructions to engage. I find this can often be easy to pick out by asking people one-on-one if they can tell me what they understood.
- Blend styles as needed, communicating both overarching goals and granular action plans when unsure of your audience’s preferences.
3. Use Active Listening and Emotional Intelligence
- I have learned that a lot of people think they know what Active Listening and Emotional Intelligence are, but don't actually know the particulars or how to apply the fundamentals of either. I strongly advise people that want to be effective leaders to look into both of these topics.
- Adjusting communication means actively listening: giving full attention, withholding judgment, and paraphrasing or rephrasing responses to ensure mutual understanding.
- Leaders with high emotional intelligence tune into their own emotions and empathize with others, allowing them to handle sensitive issues with care, smooth over misunderstandings, and create psychological safety.
4. Match the Communication Style to the Situation
- People need to understand that you may (and probably should) communicate differently in different scenarios. This can be jarring, however, so I recommend reminding people this is the case when those scenarios arise. For example, if there's a high-urgency or crisis event, this might require direct, assertive communication, which can seem short or too formal for some. Warn people in a quick leading sentence that you are going to communicate a different way than usual when events that call for it arise so they aren't caught off guard.
- For team development or brainstorming, more collaborative, coaching-oriented styles help draw out diverse ideas and contributions.
- Effective leaders are intentional about when to be directive, when to coach, and when to facilitate open dialogue, tailoring their approach to meet the needs of the moment. This is part of Situational Leadership, another framework I strongly recommend leaders become familiar with.
5. Solicit Feedback and Iterate
- Successful leaders seek feedback on how their messages are received and are open to adjusting their strategy as needed. When they receive that feedback, they don't stonewall, get defensive, or make excuses; they receive, accept, digest, and process it as necessary.
- They foster environments where team members feel comfortable expressing confusion, disagreement, or suggestions, which in turn sharpens the leader’s communication effectiveness.
6. Lead by Example
- Adaptation is one of the most important things we can teach and model for our people. By consistently adapting communication styles, effective leaders model flexibility for our teams. This approach not only builds trust, engagement, and clarity but also inspires team members to follow suit, enhancing overall collaboration and results.
7. Get Back
- One of my favourite leaders, Darren Scott, always said one of the worst things you can do to erode people's trust is not get back to them. He called those people "Non-Getter-Backers," and if you received that label from him it was deeply disappointing.
- As so-called "leaders," one of the most important things we can do is listen to and respond to our people. We are accountable to our people. If you don't realize that, or forget that, you are doomed.
8. Rewind
- I teach in one of my talks that if you have trouble with coordination activities that you are likely failing at collaboration or communication. Likewise, if you are having trouble with collaboration you are likely failing at communication.
- The key to effective leadership starts with effective communication. If you are struggling with how people are operating in any capacity, I always recommend taking a step back and examining how you communicate. Check to see what people understand before continuing further.
Recap
- Read and Understand the Room
- Recognize and Adapt to Preferences and Differences
- Use Active Listening and Emotional Intelligence
- Match the Communication Style to the Situation
- Solicit Feedback and Iterate
- Lead by Example
- Get Back
- Rewind
And as part of those, research or otherwise learn:
- Active Listening
- Situational Leadership
- Emotional Intelligence
